"There is not one person who has not experienced some kind of pain so that means that we are all capable of healing." -Tyrell Starks, LetsHeal Founder, CEO
As I have come in contact with different people over the years, I have found that the one thing we all have in common is HEALING. We all have been experiencing the pain and benefits of healing since before we understood what pain was and the benefits it would bring once you were healed.
We have all experienced a child’s teething phase right? It’s painful, it’s full of drool, there’s lots of tears all for a new set of teeth to come in for that baby. Although the teething phase is very painful for the baby all we can do is soothe the baby. We cannot stop this process, this phase, this necessity of life. But once the teeth are finally in, and the baby is healed from all that pain there are positive benefits from that painful part of life. The things that brought so much pain to that baby is also the things that will help the baby receive and digest nutrients that will allow that baby to grow!
Since learning is to growing as growing is to healing, we learn to appreciate the painful processes of life in order to learn the lessons which allow us to grow into healed individuals. There is not one person who has not experienced some kind of pain so that means that we are all capable of healing. But, where healing begins is with the will to do so.
When an individual comes to me and asks, “can you help me heal my emotions?” or “how do you heal?” I have come up with a couple key points that sound very simple but are VERY effective. Here they are!!!
1. ACKNOWLEDGE - you have to first acknowledge that there is a problem first. You shouldn’t go around looking for hurt or problems but, when it happens you owe it to yourself to face that fact that it does exist.
2. ACCEPT - this is different from the previous one because now you not only get to see the problem but you get to identify who or what you may have an issue with or where the pain came from. But, you also have to be open enough the accept the part you played, if any, in the creation of this hurt. Think of it like this, a relationship you were involved in has ended but the only involvement you have in the demise is agreeing that it’s over. But, you still may have to ACCEPT that there may have been things that you looked pass or ignored that would have brought this bad situation to an end sooner which would allow you to begin your healing process sooner.
3. APOLOGIZE-in this phase of the healing process you have allow yourself to feel the pain and hurt that is necessary to identify what it feels like and learn the lessons attached to the situation and heal from it. Now, this step can go 2 different ways. First way is you would be apologizing because you were the cause of the hurt. When you are apologizing for being the cause, you have to take the blame out of your words and replace it with empathy. When you are truly apologizing to a person you are not only acknowledging and accepting your part in the situation but you are also understanding and clearly stating what you understand about your part in the situation so that the receiving parties know that you truly understand what you are apologizing for. When you are apologizing to yourself and you are not the cause of this situation you are apologizing for accepting the hurt that is going to come from this situation, and apologizing for not treating yourself well enough to choose yourself before now.
4. ACT-For me actions will always speak louder than words so this is the most important part of the healing process. if there is an apology with no action 2 correct what the problem was in the beginning then is there really truly an apology? The best way to show somebody that you truly mean your apology and you are there to support their healing and growth process one must change the way that they act. This process of change may be a very difficult one because you may have adopted something that works for you and the hardest thing to do is change something that you have become comfortable would doing. Since nothing is constant but change maybe that change could be a positive and necessary one to your own growth and healing process.
So you see there are a few simple steps that you can take in your life and your interaction with people that will help yourself and others around you to begin an effective healing process. These tips are just that, TIPS! You can put them in any order that you feel best works for you or the situation that you are a part of but, from my experience as a life coach I have seen these tips help build stronger relationships, build stronger communication skills in those relationships, and help to keep people happier in those stronger relationships. We must always remember that it's all about Love. Life. Lessons. So....LetsHeal!!!
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